Welcome Friends!
My name is Cassidy. I’ve been married to a good man for nearly seven years (wow how time flies). I am the lucky mother of a beautiful little boy, who we'll call Blue Eyes. I have a Masters degree in Social Work with an emphasis in mental health therapy. I have about three years experience (including practicum) then I had a baby and decided no one can parent my child like me and quit my job.
My son recently turned one which means I've been doing this stay-at-home mom thing for a year now. Much of the time I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Well, that's not completely true. Motherhood has actually been a pretty easy adjustment; as the eldest of five siblings I kind of feel like I've been there before. I watched my parents and often helped with my brothers and sisters, especially my youngest brother. Except for sleeping. I just don't seem to remember anything about how my parents handled babies who don't sleep well--probably because I was sleeping during those struggles.
Other than working through baby sleep problems, I have a hard time with housework. Not that my house is terrible dirty or cluttered. I think that I just want it to look perfect and if I don't have the time or energy to do it to the nines I'd rather not do it at all. So I clean like mad for a day and then let it go to pot for a week (or more) until I can't stand it and do it all again.
I love to read and often have several books in process at the same time. However I really don't make time for reading. Usually if I find time to read I feel too guilty to enjoy it--I always think that if I have time to read I should be cleaning or doing laundry. I've learned that books on tape from the library are great when you're doing dishes or folding laundry. And I enjoy reading self-help books while on the treadmill (I know it’s a weird combination).
I've also been collecting domestic hobbies. I scrapbook, make jewelry, sew, and like to decorate my home. I have similar issues with my hobbies as I do with reading; I keep telling myself its okay to make time for them. I recently converted my kitchen hutch into a craft cabinet. I moved all my crafting, sewing, etc. supplies from their boxes in the basement to a place where they are more easily accessible (and easier to put away), we'll see if I make more time for them.
Socially I'm not the best. I consider myself a pretty likable person and I know several of the other "mommies" in the neighborhood, but haven't really had a close friend since high school. We all make choices to balance our lives. One choice that I made while going through six years of college was little (if any) social life since I didn't have time. Now that I have time, if I make it, I kind of feel awkward and out of place in social situations--like my social muscle as atrophied. I go through stages where I’ll call up friends and try to get together, and then I give up and become a hermit for a while then try again.
While we're being honest. I've struggle with depression on and off again since I was a teenager. I've tried taking medication which helped but also gave me horrendous headaches. I've learned that I can keep my symptoms at bay with exercise, socializing, and making time in my life for things I enjoy. I know that if I start to feel blue for more than a day or two there is something out of balance in my life, once I take care of that I usually start singing again. I sing out loud all the time. It’s my canary in the coalmine, I know that if I’m turning my life into a musical my life is balanced and I’m generally headed in the right direction. It’s a trait that my son loves. The song de jour “Can't Take My Eyes Off You."
Oh one more things about me. I'm obsessed with anything French. I started learning to speak French in middle school. I've wanted to go to Paris since I was 14. I haven't made it yet. But until I get a chance I've decorated my house with French-inspired things. I love movies and books that take place in Paris. And when I have those days where I feel like running away that's where I imagine I go.
Well, that's it for today. Until next time.
That socializing muscle atrophies for every mother. Not everything has to be perfect. What I have learned from many people here is take the cleaning slowly. Set aside section where you clean deeper, but then have a quick pick up everywhere else. Blue Eyes is young enough that you can teach him to clean up and stay consistent, maybe it will stick. I have a hard time getting my kids to clean up. There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. I find it helps fill my well.
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